he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
