question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
