We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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