not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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