I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
