just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
