my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
