Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
