Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
