before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
