Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
COCAINE IS GR8
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
