It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
