and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize