i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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