you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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