let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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