nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
