i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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