Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
