I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize