He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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