I'm drive I can fine osifer
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
