What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
