After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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