My boss' voice literally gives me gas
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.