ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night