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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  You also proposed and then tried to jack me off

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?

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