people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...