I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
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