I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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