If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
