We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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