you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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