i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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