If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
