...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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