is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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