so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
