My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize