i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
