never play flip cup with pint glasses
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Randomize
