shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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