What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
is it fun? or sober?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
