They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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