She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
