I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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