This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
