Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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