remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
