he puts the penis in happiness.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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