well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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