So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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