she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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