you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
