Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize