MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
