Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
