I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
