Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
