Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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