She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
