You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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